The Comeback Kid

Okay the circus is over. The verdict is in. Michael Jackson is not guilty of all 10 yes count them people 10 counts of child molestation. For nearly two years I sat and watched this trial like it was my own, Feeling every high( hearing the prosecution say penis at every 5 minutes) to the lows(hearing the prosecution say Michael Jackson’s penis at every 5 minutes) while waiting with Zen like patience for the verdict. But now the reporters have all gone home, the Michael Jackson impersonators have all gone back to Vegas, and the lady who released the doves is probably closing her book deal and selling that cage on e-bay(hope the doves get a cut of the money!) But what about Michael? What can the black/white man/boy do to ignite a stalled out career!! Here are a few tips I believe that can make a "bad" situation into a "thriller" of a comeback! 1)Rep Yo City Ludacris is from Atlanta, the game is from Compton, and we all know that kanye west is from Chicago. How do we know this? Because they represent where they came from. As we all know the saga of the Jackson clan from their humble start in Gary Indiana. All he needs to do is say he is from Gary, Indiana at every chance. Kind of like putting them on the map. Start saying he is from the 3rd coast and make up his own like beef with like Justin Timberlake.(since he's from Tennessee) 2) Become a couch jumping,kissy faced, crappy movie making, really bad reality TV. Show power couple Think bennifer, tomkat, brit and kev fed! Hook up with someone whose name will rhyme really well and look great on the front of the national enquirer! then make some really suck butt movies, go on oprah and act like an ass,find kabaalah and scientology(at the same time) then change your wedding date for or five times before you finally admit it was just a big publicity stunt to promote your new batman movie! 3)Beyonce, Beyonce,Beyonce!!! she danced with prince at the Grammy’s, she dates jay-z,and she finally got rid of those back-up singers; yes people I am talking about none other than "miss booty dance” herself beyonce.Just being linked to her should give you some it factor pionts.Try to make it seem that their would have some remote sexual attraction, and then you'll be getting fan mail from women that aren't mentally insane again! Make another "I just can't stop loving you," or "The way you make me feel" as beyonce as your leading lady, and watch the record sales fly. 4)make a sex tape! Hey it worked for Paris Hilton!!!! And if all else fails....... 5)Die!!!!! Not really but if your desperate for the spotlight. Fake your death. When you die, you become a musical genius gone before his time. A legend of incomparable standards. One of the greats! The records will fly off the shelevs,you'll be in commercials, people will make ugly commemorative plates that will go for $20 a pop on qvc,and they may even give you your own sandwich at the hard rock cafe!! Who knows the endless possibilities!!! perfect examples:Tupac, Jimi hendrix,Aaliyah.Jim Morrison,Jerry Garcia,Fred Astaire,Sammy Davis Jr.,and of course.. Elvis Presley Follow these steps, keep one nose, cook about 20 minutes, and serve chilled and you should come out with a comeback that would even make Cher cry(if she hadn't closed her tear ducts during her facelift)!!!